And in that void I shall fill my time with habits that give my life an eternal flame. New habits that give me joy and excitement each day when I wake up.
Habits of adventure. Habits of laughter. Habits of play. To be filled with excitement each day… that is my dream.
Life Feels Different Than It Once Did
For years now, I have felt as if life isn’t what it once was. It feels different. It feels emptier. As if the fire that once filled my heart has been put out, and the inspired look in my eye as I gazed upon the future has disappeared. I’m sure many of you feel the same.
This is dreadful. How can I possibly accept this as my life from now on? How could it be that I peaked in life when I was only 20 years old? Is it just supposed to be all downhill from here?
No. I refuse for that to be the case. But how can I return to the way life once felt? To the joy and intensity that once filled my life?
This is an internal war. A war that’s not decided by external circumstances, but rather by overcoming myself in the pursuit of a better version of me. A version of me which I once was, but no longer embody.
I have realized that over the past 5 years, I have developed certain habits that have inflicted damage upon the joyful and exuberant experience of life I once had. If I am to return to that deep well of vibrant, joyful life, I must address these negative habits and turn away from them. In other words… I must shed my skin.
Destructive Habits Become Your Life
Why do I say that I must shed my skin? Because these habits have become a part of me. They have ingrained themselves in my daily life, to the point where they are my life. These habits keep me from living deeply in the world. In order to move forward and change, I must rid myself of these destructive habits I once clung to.
What are these habits which I developed over the past 5 years? What has held me back from the glorious experience of life which I once had? To name a few…
- Video games
- Binge drinking
- Excessive tv shows and movies
- Doom scrolling on social media
- Overthinking and living in my head
- Watching porn instead of chasing a real life girl
- Spending way too much time shut away in my room
- Watching an excessive amount of motivational videos
These habits led me to an isolated experience of life. I withdrew from the world. I stopped pushing forward. I no longer met interesting people. I lost confidence in myself. I accepted mediocrity and gave myself permission to be less than I could be. I comforted myself with self-pity and pleasure. I stagnated, and down the path of stagnation lies destruction.
Rebirth: A Return to Life’s Former Glory
In order to overcome this numb existence, and return to the way of life I once had, I must rid myself of these destructive habits and replace them with life. Simply giving them up isn’t enough. I must fill the void with something, and that something must be in the pursuit of life at its most vibrant. I want to fill my life with experiences that chase after joy and love, depth and discovery, freedom and friendship. I want to spend my days laughing again. I want to feel emotions deeply once more. I don’t want to be numb any longer. I want to take risks and be daring. I want to go outside and LIVE!
Back when my life was at its best, I lived in such a way that made me alive. I hardly played video games. I never lost myself doom scrolling on social media. Instead, I spent time with my friends. I dined with my family. I went to school and pushed my mind. I played sports and pushed my body. I explored new places. I built things. I took risks. I crashed weddings, snuck into movies, went pool-hopping, and lived deeply in this world. I didn’t rot away in my room.
In the years since 2020, I have chased after all the wrong things and paid the price. My vibrant experience of life has been lost. But no longer. The time for change has come. It’s time to shed my skin and return to the person I am at my core. It’s time to move forward and let go of what has been holding me back. And in that void I shall fill my time with habits that give my life an eternal flame. New habits that give me joy and excitement each day when I wake up. Habits of adventure. Habits of laughter. Habits of play. To be filled with excitement each day… that is my dream.
If I focus on living fully each day, could this become the best year of my life?
Thank you for reading! Do you have anything you’d like to add? I’d love to hear what you think or what habits you’re incorporating into your life.
The Adventurous Mind 
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