The Adventurous Mind

Why am I where I am?

I came here to turn things around. I’ve done a good job with that. Forgoing alcohol. Improving confidence. A new group of friends. Fighting lust. Clearing my mind of the junk that has accumulated. But with this clear mind, I’m now looking to the future. I’m listening to what is calling me.

I need this future vision. I must find a future that is worth me working and going all out in the present. I don’t love my job, but with a deeply inspiring vision of the future, I light up and am able to work my job with joy and passion. This is because my job becomes a means to an end. My job is what I’m doing in order to achieve this dream of the future.

I think there are two aspects I desire for the future. Freedom, and Glory through transcendent work-ethic.

What I really want is to live abroad in Europe. I want to hike the dolomites, ride trains through Italy, dance in Barcelona, eat pizza in Sorrento, camp on top of a mountain in Switzerland, walk the streets of Florence, explore Prague, meet a girl in Paris, experience Christmas in Strasbourg, and witness the art, culture, architecture, food, people, and life in a thousand other European towns.

I must earn this though. Beyond external earnings. I must earn this life internally. I must be the best version of myself. Someone who is chasing the rising Son. I must be disciplined and work on something beyond myself… beyond me in the present. Through this upward striving, I earn the life I’m living. I justify it to myself. It’s not all pleasure and comfort. It’s also sacrifice and effort.

This past year I traveled to the Philippines. I discovered what it was like to not earn my pleasure. I was in one of the most beautiful places in the world, but I couldn’t enjoy it because I was acutely aware of my lack of upward striving. I knew I wasn’t living up to the standard I knew I was capable of. This knowledge ate me alive and would not allow me to enjoy myself on vacation. I hadn’t earned it.

What will be my dream for the future that I will work towards? How will I justify this life to myself?

Mastery of a physical pursuit. Training every day. In the gym, on the fields, eating right, not drinking, resting and recovering. Soccer. Train for speed, power, athleticism, and skill. Develop myself into a competitor. This will require a huge amount of time, so I won’t be able to chase it at full speed if I’m working a full time job for someone else. That’s why this year on Lana’i, my aim is to build a successful blog. With a blog, I can work for myself, wherever I want, without relying on others, or conforming to a company’s schedule.

This is how I earn my dream.